Mr Red Hood
by aya-kun.zeroaddicted
Summary: Jason letting slip how he hadn't really asked to live as he tries to talk to some kids he'd just rescued in the Narrows. #batfamcontentwar @ Tumblr


Sooo...This was inspired by _that_ panel...ya know the one. (Like, really Jay. Such a depressing look on your second life). Then I kinda started this when Jay's death day came around mostly just the first 2 paragraphs and then I stalled...

There is fluff. Not really super thought writing. I just wanted the ending to come about since I finally had one for this.

Told y'all I had a fluff one incoming. Hope ya like.

Also on my AO3.

* * *

"Don't you like your life?" Meg, who was six and on the short side, looked up at the Red Hood as she held his hand while they walked. The hero had just saved her and her friends from some thugs who'd thought of using them.

Jason didn't know why he'd ever voice this but…"I have days where I wish I was still six feet under."

"Still?" Cole, the eldest of their group at age 10 stared up at the vigilante with a frown. He was sporting a fast becoming black eye from defending his friends earlier.

Jason ignored the question. Thankful his hood hid the sudden frown on his face. Why the hell did he confess his worst thought? And to kids even. He was just glad that four-year-old, Hidaya, was fast asleep in his arms. The kid had finally fallen asleep after bombarding him with questions and not letting his jacket go.

"But. You're the Red Hood!"

He sighs. "Yeah, I am." But sometimes, just sometimes, he wished that he was just Jason. Just a kid. Just…a son.

But more often he also wished he was no one.

Because being no one meant having no expectations, no rules to live by, no interactions with people -with family and all to have it just end in harsh words exchanged, no coming home to a place that didn't feel like one. He just wanted to feel nothing.

Jason shook his head out of the gutter. It had been frequenting such these past few days. Maybe going into isolation and getting wasted on his death day hadn't been such a good idea. His negative thoughts had persisted in the morning, more so than his hangover. It had been a couple days since and the thought still cropped up from time to time.

"C'mon. Let's get you out of the cold."

* * *

Barbara Gordon was a fast thinker. She made quick observations and made quick decisions. This had helped her all her life. Made her always lean forwards and think ahead.

But right now she wasn't sure how to feel about this. She trusted Jason but to a point. Sometimes he just did stupid things without meaning to. And she had hacked his comms just because she wanted to make sure he wasn't saying anything stupid to the kids in the narrows.

She hadn't expected such a confession from him.

And now, she was caught between getting angry and worried.

Because she hadn't been alone when Jason's words came through the speakers.

Dick had come in unannounced and heard the same thing, eyes going wide behind the mask, hand gripping a flash drive so tightly.

Now Babs watched as Dick slumped down on the floor before her, head bowed down over her covered knees. Reaching out, she stroked his hair as he rested his head and arms over her legs.

He didn't cry though it looked like he would. Dick Grayson simply sought comfort. Hoping that maybe he'd be able to give the same to his little brother.

* * *

When he gets back to the cave, Dick's mind is still flashing to Jason's morbid words. He doesn't mean to but he ends up telling Bruce. His mentor and father had noticed his mind was elsewhere.

"What is it, Dick?"

"Jason wished he was still dead. That he stayed dead. Why?"

Dick snaps out of his maudlin state of mind and regrets speaking without thinking it through. It hurt to see the hollow and haunted look in Bruce's eyes.

Feeling like an idiot he tells Bruce to forget what he said and runs away.

* * *

Babs scolds him when he tells her. Not like they could do anything. Jay just wasn't ready to accept their help yet.

Still, it wasn't like the world would always be unkind. One night, doing as Bats do, they catch sight of Jason resting on rooftop ledge, cigarette in hand. But he'd yet to even remove his hood.

Dick had wanted to sit by him but Babs had told him not to even though he could see that all nearby cameras were pointed at Jay. It was already a miracle Bruce had done nothing since his slip up. Well, almost nothing if his shadow from a far away and higher up rooftop was any indication. Dick couldn't even roll his eyes at his father since he was doing the same but closer.

Jason was too deep in his thoughts to notice any of this though as he recalls his unbidden words to Meg. Cole had given him a consoling pat on the head when he'd stooped to let down Hidaya. Surprised as he was, he'd been more embarrassed about it since this was all done in front of Leslie. The doctor had only smiled though and made no comment.

He was only a little startled when he realized he wasn't alone anymore in his corner of Gotham.

They watch as the same kids plus others meet up with Jason who had been resting at a corner rooftop before he dropped lower to the fire escape.

"What are you brats doing back here?"

Hidaya stepped forward and made grabby hands at Jason who shrugged. There wasn't anything going on tonight anyway.

Once on the ground, Jason easily picked up the little girl who promptly hugged him. Surprised, he almost missed hearing her say, "Thank you for saving me."

Those words started a torrent of other similar words.

If Dick subtly got closer, it was only because he cared. And it was only because he cared that he turned on his comms and let Babs and B in to hear. He didn't bother holding in his smile. It was nearly blinding with how wide it was.

The children, one by one, start thanking him for saving their saving their mother's life. Their father's. Their brother's. Their sister's. Their family. Their friends.

"We don't wish you were gone, Mr. Hood." Meg clung to his jacket, not at all scared of his holstered guns which level to her face. She was staring intently at Jason, Hidaya's hand held tightly after she'd been let down so the others could give their thanks.

Dick watched as his brother actually go through breathing exercises. He recognized the pattern of breathing. Whether Jaybird was simply overwhelmed or actually panicked at all this emotion, he couldn't really say. But his brother had remained outwardly calm as the kids surrounded him, spoke shyly to him, gave him fist bumps to his side and hugged him.

When Jason crouches down and removes his helmet, the children get excited though still a bit disappointed at the domino. It's quickly forgotten though when he smiles at them. Seeing the big bad Red Hood sans hood and recognizing how young he was, hearing the affectation of a Gotham born and bred accent, the children are delighted and feel that much closer to him when he says, "Thank you."

They return his smile and the youngest kids all pile-hug him while the older ones just laugh.

"Alright. Alright. Now scram you brats before you become targets." They do as they're told but laugh as they scatter.

Jason watched them disappear into the night and felt his smile grow even wider. He was so glad to be alive.


End file.
